Defense vs. Offense

818-489-8917: “Hey girl!”
Me: “Hey, who is this?”
818-489-8917: “What! U don’t remember?”
Me: “No…?”
818-489-8917: “We practiced mating.”
Me: “I’m not gonna be very much fun at this game, can you please stop texting me.”
818-489-8917: “Okay mate. Guess I won’t be mounting u in the front seat.”
1 hour goes by.
818-489-8917: “Can I get a what what Caiti?”

* * *

It’s Thursday night at 9:00 pm and this is the text conversation I have to deal with as a 24-year-old girl living in Los Angeles.

Guys: You dig your own grave.

Girls: We have to stick to together and not let these guys get away with speaking to us in any other way aside from respectful.

Who, past the age of puberty, thinks this is an okay thing to text someone? Come on.

P.S. Anyone who wants to have some fun with this guy, who isn’t above stooping to his level, and text him back, go for it.

* * *

Dating is such a catch 22. We have to be so careful. I hear things come out of guys’ mouths like this texter guy, and even worse out at the bars and from my guy friends, that I have trouble believing the genuine article is really out there. It makes women just want to date defensively.

Defensive dating is never allowing yourself to be vulnerable. It’s making those you date wonder and have to guess as to what you’re doing or how you feel. It’s always treating someone new like they have already hurt you like those from the past.

Offensive dating is saying, “I like you.” It’s openly accepting a date invitation. It’s not giving the run-around. It’s being in the moment, with another human being and being true to yourself and true to that person. It leaves you wide open. It leaves your heart wide open to be broken, or wide open for someone to come in and piece it back together.

The fastest way to find the right person for you, is to open your heart. The fastest way to get hurt, is to open your heart. So what do you do?

I don’t have the answer. I’m a 24-year-old single girl living in Los Angeles, hoping to find a needle in a haystack. But the silver lining is, in this big city, with this fast-paced temporary sort of life style people seem to live, it’s only that much easier to find the good guys. We are just surrounded by guys that don’t measure up, it only makes it that much easier to peak over the line and see who’s standing tall above all the rest.