Hey guys!
I want to thank you all for your support on this blog! I am relocating but my new blog is better than ever : ) You can follow me on quite a few sites now, so please add me! follow me! (not stalking me on the street or lingering in the bushes outside my apartment please...) (...unless you're a single guy, under 30, living in LA...)
Blog: www.cateblackphotography.com
Twitter: http://twitter.com/CateBlackPhoto
Facebook (personal): http://www.facebook.com/caiti.shuhart?ref=profile
Facebook (photography): http://www.facebook.com/pages/Cate-Black-Photography/103575948485
Model Mayhem: http://www.modelmayhem.com/348055
Cate Black, signing off.
Cheers,
xx
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Happy Valentine's Day
No one is completely safe from escaping a less-than-clean slate of dating history. We all come from broken relationships, break ups, fights, dishonesty and betrayal of trust…oh yeah, and a bunch of the good stuff too; your favorite flowers on Valentine’s Day, concert tickets picked out from remembering a statement you made once about loving OneRepublic, and unlimited soft, sensual kisses that makes you weak in the knees and feel like, love, isn’t such a bad thing after all…
This time of year, people who are part of a couple typically embrace Valentine’s Day or sort of brush it off as a “fake holiday”, but the single people of the world seem to really hate this holiday.
‘The ridiculous amount of red and pink balloons covering the beer and liquor section of this damn food store makes me sick.’ –anonymous V-Day hater
I don’t hate on V-Day. All the forced romance in the air and money thrown at disposable gifts from the drug store just to show your person that they have a Valentine on the fateful 14th of February doesn’t bother me. It only seems to soften a spot in my heart that I leave open for the inner hopeless romantic I remain to be.
The older we get, the more we seem to protect ourselves from this crazy concept called love. It feels like such a double-edge sword. The greatest feeling can and often does cause us the greatest pain. But wouldn’t you rather feel the greatest pain in hopes that the greatest bliss is in the cards for us? I would.
I met a guy at the bar last night; 25, good-looking, an accountant. We met towards the end of the night, a few $3 beers into the evening. We talked for probably a little over an hour about our jobs, hometowns, air hockey, The Eagles, thunderstorms—a balance of both random and typical first conversational topics.
He asked me if I wanted to go with him to his favorite local dive bar around the corner for an air hockey challenge. A red flag went off in my head as I recalled a recent conversation I had with my buddy JD (www.dalydose.com) about the classic “venue change” situation that men try and pull on women they pick up at the bar. After laying the groundwork with a woman for an hour or so, they will attempt to invite you to switch bars with them simulating a first date within hours of meeting.
We fall into this trap without even realizing it. It seems innocent enough to follow him to another bar, get some drinks out of it perhaps, enjoy some good company and call it a night. But it doesn’t quite work like that…does it? The simple act of doing this, triggers a feeling in us that mimics the ‘first date’ feeling and most likely leads to a phone number exchange without having to call you once, pick you up or take you out to a proper meal. This is just a cheap shortcut…
After thanking him for the invitation, giving him my business card and hugging goodbye he shouted over the loud bar while walking away, ‘Maybe I’ll text you for an air hockey challenge!”
It makes me laugh a little how we’re all so scared to be and seem available or genuinely interested in someone. All the technologies of the world make it much easier to hide behind a commonly accepted shield and step lightly before pouncing on our prey.
Note to guys out there: Women WANT to be pounced on! We want a man to hunt and fish and reel us in with complete assertion. I guarantee you, any women worth your time will drop the act and drop the games if you say, ‘I like you’, and actually act like you do. Crazy, huh?
Offering to maybe contact you through a text message just ain’t gonna cut it guys. I’ve been dating far long enough to know that it is not only okay to pass up a seemingly perfect guy at the bar, but completely advisable, who offers to “hang out” soon, with a ‘maybe’ or a text message—or both!
Note to ladies out there: If you have to question it, you can do better. By accepting text messages, “venue changes”, shortcut-dating and a lack of true effort from men, you will never find someone who will treat you right.
Oh yeah…HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!
This time of year, people who are part of a couple typically embrace Valentine’s Day or sort of brush it off as a “fake holiday”, but the single people of the world seem to really hate this holiday.
‘The ridiculous amount of red and pink balloons covering the beer and liquor section of this damn food store makes me sick.’ –anonymous V-Day hater
I don’t hate on V-Day. All the forced romance in the air and money thrown at disposable gifts from the drug store just to show your person that they have a Valentine on the fateful 14th of February doesn’t bother me. It only seems to soften a spot in my heart that I leave open for the inner hopeless romantic I remain to be.
The older we get, the more we seem to protect ourselves from this crazy concept called love. It feels like such a double-edge sword. The greatest feeling can and often does cause us the greatest pain. But wouldn’t you rather feel the greatest pain in hopes that the greatest bliss is in the cards for us? I would.
I met a guy at the bar last night; 25, good-looking, an accountant. We met towards the end of the night, a few $3 beers into the evening. We talked for probably a little over an hour about our jobs, hometowns, air hockey, The Eagles, thunderstorms—a balance of both random and typical first conversational topics.
He asked me if I wanted to go with him to his favorite local dive bar around the corner for an air hockey challenge. A red flag went off in my head as I recalled a recent conversation I had with my buddy JD (www.dalydose.com) about the classic “venue change” situation that men try and pull on women they pick up at the bar. After laying the groundwork with a woman for an hour or so, they will attempt to invite you to switch bars with them simulating a first date within hours of meeting.
We fall into this trap without even realizing it. It seems innocent enough to follow him to another bar, get some drinks out of it perhaps, enjoy some good company and call it a night. But it doesn’t quite work like that…does it? The simple act of doing this, triggers a feeling in us that mimics the ‘first date’ feeling and most likely leads to a phone number exchange without having to call you once, pick you up or take you out to a proper meal. This is just a cheap shortcut…
After thanking him for the invitation, giving him my business card and hugging goodbye he shouted over the loud bar while walking away, ‘Maybe I’ll text you for an air hockey challenge!”
It makes me laugh a little how we’re all so scared to be and seem available or genuinely interested in someone. All the technologies of the world make it much easier to hide behind a commonly accepted shield and step lightly before pouncing on our prey.
Note to guys out there: Women WANT to be pounced on! We want a man to hunt and fish and reel us in with complete assertion. I guarantee you, any women worth your time will drop the act and drop the games if you say, ‘I like you’, and actually act like you do. Crazy, huh?
Offering to maybe contact you through a text message just ain’t gonna cut it guys. I’ve been dating far long enough to know that it is not only okay to pass up a seemingly perfect guy at the bar, but completely advisable, who offers to “hang out” soon, with a ‘maybe’ or a text message—or both!
Note to ladies out there: If you have to question it, you can do better. By accepting text messages, “venue changes”, shortcut-dating and a lack of true effort from men, you will never find someone who will treat you right.
Oh yeah…HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Matchmaker
How BS is The Bachelor? Whether you’ve seen the show or not, we’ve all heard of it, we all know the premise.
They pick one male or female who is looking for true love, and then 25 men and women for them to choose from to get to know in a couple short months and whittle down to that one special person to walk down the isle with.
I have been the victim of getting sucked into this show for a handful of seasons. I get so swept up with all the extravagant dates, gorgeous people, champagne and romance; I almost want to believe it’s this easy. How successful is The Bachelor, matchmakers and dating sites?
I feel like I am presented with well over 25 guys at my access in one single night at a club or bar or hell even just going about my business in this huge city with a surplus of men; and it’s a rarity to find a guy who can hold my interest in one conversation, let alone take to Pennsylvania to meet my family and marry.
I suppose the set up of having a room full of people who are truly looking for love, who want a relationship, would have an impact on raising the success rate of making a match. Verses putting a group together in one room at complete randomness, mixing together men and women, married and single; people who are looking for love and people who are just looking to date. People of all ages. People of all backgrounds with all interests. It feels a bit like finding a needle in a haystack…
It takes about 30 seconds to decide if you are attracted to someone. It takes only a couple minutes to decide if you are interested in someone. It takes probably one date to decide if you could see yourself in a relationship with someone. And it takes around a month to know if you could see yourself with that someone for the rest of your life.
This is a pretty simple progression that doesn’t take long, but we seem to complicate the hell out of it. If we stayed true to listening to our gut in the process of dating, we would probably get a lot closer to love than all the other influences we let weigh in on our choices.
There’s a side of me that wants to believe in the concept of having an outside source bring two people together based on sheer compatibility—kicking aside every other influence…including one-too-many-cocktails, the ex-syndrome (bringing in ex issues into our current situation), getting in our own way, indecisiveness, insecurity…the list goes on.
I have come up with an experiment to better understand the idea of a matchmaker and really test this concept.
For the entire month of February, I am going to let the one person who knows me inside and out, make my dating selections for me. Whether it be at a bar or someone she knows or a guy at our local coffee shop…it will all be chosen by my friend, Beth. It will be good ol’ fashion dating—the works. No sleepovers, no skipping steps—dating. The way dating it’s supposed to be.
Stayed turned for updates…
They pick one male or female who is looking for true love, and then 25 men and women for them to choose from to get to know in a couple short months and whittle down to that one special person to walk down the isle with.
I have been the victim of getting sucked into this show for a handful of seasons. I get so swept up with all the extravagant dates, gorgeous people, champagne and romance; I almost want to believe it’s this easy. How successful is The Bachelor, matchmakers and dating sites?
I feel like I am presented with well over 25 guys at my access in one single night at a club or bar or hell even just going about my business in this huge city with a surplus of men; and it’s a rarity to find a guy who can hold my interest in one conversation, let alone take to Pennsylvania to meet my family and marry.
I suppose the set up of having a room full of people who are truly looking for love, who want a relationship, would have an impact on raising the success rate of making a match. Verses putting a group together in one room at complete randomness, mixing together men and women, married and single; people who are looking for love and people who are just looking to date. People of all ages. People of all backgrounds with all interests. It feels a bit like finding a needle in a haystack…
It takes about 30 seconds to decide if you are attracted to someone. It takes only a couple minutes to decide if you are interested in someone. It takes probably one date to decide if you could see yourself in a relationship with someone. And it takes around a month to know if you could see yourself with that someone for the rest of your life.
This is a pretty simple progression that doesn’t take long, but we seem to complicate the hell out of it. If we stayed true to listening to our gut in the process of dating, we would probably get a lot closer to love than all the other influences we let weigh in on our choices.
There’s a side of me that wants to believe in the concept of having an outside source bring two people together based on sheer compatibility—kicking aside every other influence…including one-too-many-cocktails, the ex-syndrome (bringing in ex issues into our current situation), getting in our own way, indecisiveness, insecurity…the list goes on.
I have come up with an experiment to better understand the idea of a matchmaker and really test this concept.
For the entire month of February, I am going to let the one person who knows me inside and out, make my dating selections for me. Whether it be at a bar or someone she knows or a guy at our local coffee shop…it will all be chosen by my friend, Beth. It will be good ol’ fashion dating—the works. No sleepovers, no skipping steps—dating. The way dating it’s supposed to be.
Stayed turned for updates…
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